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When nate met sally
Transcript Good evening complete strangers. It's June 21st. I'm a gentle creature in a sea of overexposure. Ladies, I can only handle three at a time. So stop e-mailing me about fivesomes! There's a chance that my head manager at work might start watching my movies. If that's the case, I'm just kidding! It's all a joke! There are plenty of wonderful things about being a waiter. I like the flexibility, the people I work with, the interesting people I get to meet all the time, the great food, the good tips, the atmosphere, the smell, the absolute exhaustion. You know, I mean the good kind of exhaustion. The kind that makes you feel like, Oh yeah! No pain no gain, right? Well now that you've been properly debriefed, sir, I need to let everyone about a new toy I got. Well, not really new. Ryan had in his possession this little plate here. This little plate helps me connect my camera to a tripod. the tripod I think I'll call it Sally. Sally the tripod. She has three disgustingly sexy extendable legs. With this, I can do so many different angles. Such as... This. And this. And this. And this. And this. I can also do things like dramatically pan right until I end up ... on my face. Or I can do things like tilt down until I surprisingly end up ... on my face. I can even pan left and the camera will climax ... on my face. Since I have the tripod now, the new angle I will mainly be filming at is ... this. from below Wheezy's crotch I'm just kidding. It's all a joke. Tonight I'm starting a new segment called The Nates I Know, in which I interview every Nate that I know. Tonight's Nate: Nate music. As a child, Nate was gifted. When he grew up, he was in two bands: Driftless Pony Club and Sleep Out. the waiter: Greetings. Welcome to music. Could you please say your name for the complete strangers? Nate: Nathaniel Ryan music the waiter: Hmm. What the hell's that mean? Nate: I believe it means 'gift from god.' the waiter: Super interesting. What do you do, Nate? Nate: I'm a drummer. the waiter: Oh that's so cool. Could you do a little drumming for me? Nate: What kind of drum? the waiter: I have just the thing. a pot Keith Moon once banged this pot. Bang away. Nate: Thank you. the waiter: Now bang the drum slowly. starts drumming the pot: Is that slow enough for you? the waiter: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Nate: Alright? the waiter: Dude, you rock! Do a drum solo! Nate: I need more than one drum for a drum solo. the waiter: Hmmm. Use my head. drums the pot and the top of Wheezy's head. the waiter: Can I get you a refill on that beer? Nate: Yes, that'd be excellent. the waiter: Right away. grabs a beer out of the fridge behind Nate. There you are, sir. Nate: Thank you, sir. the waiter: Clear that out of your way for you. the empty beer bottle Oh, before I forget, we need to know if you have any sort of health deficiencies. It's for our insurance. Nate: I have asthma. the waiter: Asthma? I invented asthma! plays as Wheezy and Nate inhale on their inhalers. the waiter: So where was I? Hey, you want to beatbox for me? Nate: Alright. the waiter: Sweet. Do it. plays over a montage of Wheezy the waiter dancing, Wheezy dancing in the alley and in his apartment. That concludes my first interview with a Nate I know. Now a couple of thank yous for the people who helped me yesterday. Thanks to Ryan for filming me jump into the fountain. Thanks to Matt for spraying me with the hose. And thanks to Tim for laughing. And thank you for watching. (ding) of Nate drumming on the pot and Wheezy's head Recurrent themes music replacing restaurant name, The Nates I Know, wink